Confusions and Connections

What to do with the Home Help?

I have written at length about my home help, The Minions. Both how useful and stupid they are. This time it’s about what they seem to get up to in their time off.

Most of the time they are lovely to be around and not getting up to anything disastrous for me as their, current, master. Mainly because I’m not a vampire who needs to keep the curtains closed. Even if it’s my birthday.

Birthday Greetings master
They can be quite needy. Every time they meet you, especially if they are in a group, they can be a bit needy. Always wanting your attention

when they see youNot only that, they can take on a role. Be that a cleaner or, more annoyingly, as a fire siren. Then again, it does keep them away from destroying your own evil contraptions. The rest of the house could suffer some minion damage. Something that can happen quite regularly as that’s the bit that should be kept as your cover. Fire damage or holes punched through walls isn’t the best way to keep this façade up.

Emergency Minion
On the other hand, they can come up with some useful inventions themselves. I’m not sure how good it is for the minion involved but it does seem that you can use that to get into some places that normal methods of entry are impossible High walls or moats are two things that this invention could be useful to get into. I’m sure it’ll be fine for the missile as I can’t seem to find a way to destroy any on the hordes that are under my control.

A novel use of a Minion
The other thing that it seems to show is that they also, sometimes, bend the laws of physics that will allow them to fit into impossibly small things and being fired at great speed into objects that may get into their way.

The only thing that I won’t do to them is genetic engineering as I have discovered that one of their old owners, Gru, found out the hard way what could happen. If I tried this, I’m sure that it wouldn’t end up the same way. A good Evil Geniuses death would await. One that involved one of my many inventions or a Schadenfreude type death. That would keep my enemies in good stories for years. Not only that, I’m sure that it would win an award at the annual Evil Genius Awards. The Frankies. On the other hand, I would much prefer to pick it up in person. I may have to introduce myself to Dr. Nefario as he maybe able to help with keeping me alive after death so I can.

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Category: Films, Humour

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