I originally published this over at my original blog when the first Despicable Me was about to be released. Now with the sequel about to hit the silver screen I have decided to publish the run over here.
Being an evil genius there comes a time to decide if you need the help of minions. This can produce problems. These tend to involve the ability to feed, arm and control them enough so they don’t try and mutiny and take over your super fortress / converted volcano.
As a lone wolf, so to speak, I have decide against this idea as they tend to cramp my style, make a mess of the cave and, generality, being a pain in the tail.
This mess tends to involve their failed experiments:
- Propulsion – Flinging each other into a wall at high speed
- Explosives – Leaving small bits of themselves all over the shop
- Electronics – Leaving smouldering bits of themselves all over the place
- Weaponry – Vaporising each other, thus cutting down even more, on your minion base
Cleaning up after these experiments can take up a lot of time, effort, and paperwork. This can take a lot of my own personal “evil time” away from my own projects. These are the reasons why any evil genius trys to stay away from having hordes of minions. The odd helper, on a purely ad-hoc basis is a more cost-effective way of getting your plans in action.
World domination isn’t everyone’s style. It’s normally just trying to get something to eat. This seems to be getting harder and harder as times goes on so I decided to diversify so the idea of World Domination now seems like a career update (and probably a cheaper one – saving on those medical bills that keep coming in each time you fall off a cliff, get hit by anvils, fall off a cliff and then getting hit by an anvil…).
JOHN 'BLUTO' BLUTARSKY: "Toga! Toga!" from NATIONAL LAMPOON'S ANIMAL HOUSE